From here to maternity

Well, after having been together for 19 years, Nathan and I are finally starting a family. When we first started dating Nathan was committed to never having kids (for a range of reasons such as overpopulation to genetic selection to being overwhelmed by the responsibilities of parenthood depending on the time and place of the discussion). I had always presumed kids would be a part of my future, but was convinced he would change his mind.

In our classic non-decisive way, we agreed to wait until i was 30 and discuss it then. For some people this would be a recipe for disaster. What happens if we disagreed fundamentally about this after having invested 10 whole years in each other. But filled with the certainty that love would conquer all (and that one of us would convince the other to change his/her mind), procrastination was a way of life.

Somewhere in the next 10 years of happy couplehood, I came to realise that Nathan and I were very happy just the two of us....I enjoyed the travel, the time for theatre, music, sports and occasional bouts of total irresponsibility and spontaneity. When Crystal came to live with us, we really understood the total commitment that being a good parent demanded (and how much our lives would have to change to accommodate that). No more dinners at 10 pm or last minute nights out with the girls/guys. So 30 came and went, and I stopped asking the question.

So it was a bit of a surprise when after my 35th birthday, Nathan started asking the question, "Do you want to have kids?" I suppose, as a biologist, he could hear the clock ticking before I could. Each of us was more ready to accept the other's position, confident that we could be happy as long as we were together.

Then my body raised the question again, this time asking us to make a definite choice. A trip to the Dr revealed that I would need surgery--if we weren't going to have kids, the healthier, long-term option was a hysterectomy. If we wanted kids, well, there was a higher risk option. Surprisingly, we both quickly agreed, we would take the higher risk to keep our chance for a child.

While we were both confident that we would be happy together just us two, we began to become more proactive about starting a family. Our plans seemed thwarted when some follow-up Drs visits revealed the need for more surgery. This time, the surgery provided a much clearer prognosis....the chances of us having a child without medical intervention were small.

But just as we dealt with the question of EXACTLY how proactive we wanted to be, we were facing 2 months of traveling (separately) back to the US. In typical fashion, we agreed to procrastinate just a few months more. Luckily, divine intervention.

Nathan and I "fell" pregnant (that doesn't seem like the right language as it suggests it was some sort of accident--when miracle is more like it) in July. Before we knew of our luck, I was back in the US visiting my family. With no morning sickness and success a medical long-shot, it didn't occur to me that we might have succeeded until I met with Nathan in California. We kept our suspicions a secret until we could confirm it for sure.

When I returned to Australia, I made an appointment with the Dr for the bloodtest. It was positive--and we were already 9 weeks along. The Dr rushed us in for appointments, the next week we would need to get other tests done in preparation for our 12 week ultrasound scan.

It was incredible--seeing the baby move, hearing the heartbeat, watching it drink (Nathan thinks it was singing), seeing 5 tiny fingers wave at us. That moment with Nathan, who was drunk with happiness, was one of the closest we had ever shared as a couple.

I'm confident that the moments Nathan and I will share as parents will be some of the happiest and closest of our lives together.

As we are now out of the first trimester (baby is due 1 April, 2011), we wanted to let you know about our latest adventure--and hope you'll share in our excitement to be a part of it.

Kristin, Nathan, and the Bub (Australian slang for baby), here pictured in the classic "Thinker" pose.