Saying Goodbye--Kristin

Wow. what a week. What a fun, frantic,full, horrible, emotional, roller coaster of a week.

On Tuesday of last week, Nathan and I decided that we were "on schedule" enough that we could indulge in a road trip to surprise our friend Hilary Peterson for her (gulp) 30th birthday. After some secretive calls to Eric (while he was "cleaning the garage.) We arranged to meet at a restaurant in Pittsburgh on December 7th.

On December 6, we drove to St. Charles sold my saturn, then piled into Nathan's car on the first leg of our road trip (we knew we had to get past Chicago before we crashed for the night). The next day we set off early through sun, then snow, then sun, then snow, (darn lakes!) to arrive in Pittsburgh at rush hour on the day of the Cleveland Browns v. Steelers football game. When we finally arrived at the restaurant, Eric and Hilary had not arrived. We settled in to wait for the surprise--hiding behind our menus for their arrival. At about 7 pm, the hostess led Eric and Hilaryto a table for 2 only to find 2 people setting at it. When we lowered our menus, Hilary was so shocked, she couldn't breath. After a few minutes of recovery, we talked the night away, got a tour of their new house, and laughed some more about our crazy road trip.

At 6 the next morning (ugh) we hopped back in the car, to drive back to Madison, WI. At Madison, I met with the Director of Development for UW Vet School to get tips for my new job. The next day Nathan attended a conference, and then we drove back to Rochester. We finished our road trip stretch with a drive to Waconia and Chaska on Sunday the 10th. I had Christmas with my best friend Connie (tearful and laughing the whole time), while Nathan visited with his Grandma. Nathan's mom had a Christmas feast--halibut, shrimp, porkchops, asparagus, all of our favorite things--while we visited with Grandma Halvorson, Martha, & Dick.

Monday was packing, so far we were right on schedule.

Tuesday changed everything.

At 7:30 am, we got the call that my Grandma, Olga Smith had passed away. It was hard to know how to feel. I was sad, Grandma was a wonderful, upbeat, wise woman, who despite a diagnosis of lung cancer in September was still very healthy, mentally was sharp as a tack, with her hearing and eyesight only slightly diminished. I miss laugh and smile and ready conversation so much. At the same time, I knew she did not want to live through pain of a long struggle against lung cancer. Because of our move to Australia, we had said our goodbyes--told each other how much we loved each other, and appreciated our time together. I was sad for my mom, who had an incredibly close relationship with Grandma despite the 400 miles of distance, knowing that she would be coping with this loss at the same time I would be moving. I was glad for the opportunity to attend the funeral, to remember with my family, to be there to support each other.

Nathan and I soldiered through the day, attending meetings, signing papers, making plans to leave for North Dakota to attend the funeral. The day was a blur. Until we arrived at Sontes at 5:00 pm. It was our LAST leaving party (we started having good bye parties in July, this was our 6th!). Surrounded by theater friends, work colleagues, our friends from church, and so many others, we were comforted, we laughed, we hugged tearful goodbyes, we invited visitors and made travel plans. It was a wonderful night.

Wednesday, Nathan and I completed our packing, drove to Blue Earth with our last load of things for the storage unit, before having dinner with my sister Julie, her daughter Crystal and Crystal's son Spencer. The funeral meant we would have to postpone the big family Christmas we were planning on Saturday, so it really meant a lot to me to get to say goodbye to Julie, Crystal and Spencer before we left.

Thursday, we finished the cleaning (I hope our new buyers don't look to closely in the showers!) and then drove to North Dakota for the visitation. While the reality of Grandma's passing was difficult, the energy and enthusiasm of my family joined together in an improptu reunion was uplifting. We met after the visitation for dinner, which was as full of jokes as sad stories, as full of laughter as of tears.

Friday, at 11:00 am, we attended Grandma's funeral. The service was lovely, but I think she would have been most touched by the music. All the grandkids joined together to sing Amazing Grace. Mardee's boys sang, "I can only imagine" a song about what heaven must be like. Listening to Josh, Andy, and Logan, I couldn't help but cry. Nathan and I followed the boys, singing Softly and Tenderly. Following the service and internment, we met at the church where she was surrounded by the friends she had made in her 94 years of devoted church membership.

Saturday, we looked through photos with family before having to say goodbye. Saying goodbye to my parents, with this painful reminder that life is short and unpredictable, was probably the most difficult thing I have done as an adult.

When we left for England, I didn't think about leaving Mom and Dad or leaving MN, I was afraid about living overseas. Then I was scared for me. I didn't think about mortality. Leaving this time, I am confident that Nathan and I will have a wonderful time in Australia, but I am more aware of what I will be missing in Minnesota. I know that Australia is only a day away, and that we will be calling frequently, and seeing each other a couple of times a year. But, I will miss golfing with my dad. sitting around the kitchen table with my mom. getting together with my brothers and sisters for birthdays and holidays. seeing Spencer, Sam, Owen, Marianna grow up.

Now we face more goodbyes. Goodbyes to Nathan's mom and Grandma, goodbye to Alan's family, goodbye to Nathan's dad, his sister's family. While I can not wait to arrive in Australia, saying goodbye to those we love in the US is so hard. But in saying goodbye, I find myself doing something that non-demonstrative Minnesota Lutherans usually don't. Telling the people in my life how much I love them.