Nathan Vs. The Marathon

So, I've been training for this marathon-thingy for a few weeks, thinking - as you do - that I never put in this much training before, and I've always been okay, but neglecting to consider the fact that the first marathon was something like 14 years ago, and while that's not very much time in geological terms, in the life of someone who, given a choice, would be a completely sedentary being, it's actually time for quite a few changes to take place.

Atrophy of the sense of humor, for one, and also a tendency to run-on sentences (looking back at that first sentence makes me cringe, but I'll leave the words as they are to lend an air of authenticity and a stream-of-consciousness sort of Faulkenerian...damn, doing it again).

Two weeks ago, when a pipe burst under the sink, causing water to spray an outlet, causing a fuse to blow which, when I went out of the front door, the resulting chimney effect caused the back door to slam shut, and breaking it - well, that sort of Chevy Chase morning would usually have me rolling on the floor. But not during marathon training.

Instead, it took series of totally bizarre, classic Fremantle (the town we live in) events to bring it all back to perspective.

1) On a run later that morning, I spotted a group of people in white pajamas and red belts chasing around one of the parks, wrestling with what appeared to be a bear. We are talking like, a couple-dozen people here, and splashing around in a 50 degree drizzle. In pajamas - or did I mention that already? Intrigued, I ran a little closer, and discovered that they were enacting the running of the bulls in Pamplona, with the part of the Bull being played by a guy in a rented costume and no audience - just out there having fun.

Interesting, but I still needed more.

2) That Same Day - we boarded a train into the city, and found ourselves on a carriage of 25 or so guys in their late twenties, all dressed as characters from Harry Potter, complete with broomsticks and wands, using the don't-fall-over straps to hold themselves up and pretend that they were flying on the broomsticks. Other than loud, they were a pretty pleasant bunch, and actually gave a broomstick to a little boy as he was leaving, cheering loudly when he "flew" along side the departing train car.

Surreal, yes, but not enough to re-align my sense of humor.

3) Later That Night - on the way back from the city, our train was boarded by a jungle. A dozen or so people dressed variously as foliage, big cats, and intrepid explorers got on board. No explanation, just having a good time.

Okay, okay! I surrender! All this in one day? Really! Somebody is telling me something.

All in all, this sort of day - starting with the burst pipe and continuing on through George of the Jungle's appearance at the end of the day, was enough to keep me smiling all through the marathon yesterday - well, most of the marathon. It took a long, long time, and nobody can smile for that long, I don't care which infomercial they work for.

Audience poll: First thing that pops into your mind when I type the new word usement I'm structuring, "Marathong"
I kept typing it by accident, then started wondering if it was really for some, non-freudian reason that I would need your help divining. Or maybe it's just the obvious...

Nathan Vs. The Puck

Kris has been trying to get me to re-enact my last trip to the US, and the misadventures of an episode of my life which we will think of as Nathan Vs. United Airlines, but it is actually fairly boring. A standard litany of airline ills, any one or two of which you may well expect on a trip, but ALL of which occurred on the trip from Perth to SFO. So, start with the phrase, "We're sorry Mr. Mannix, but you don't actually have a ticket..." being uttered at 5:30 AM, and use your imagination from there.

No, I like to focus on the other painful things in my life.

So, before you have a look at the photo below, you need to know 3 things;

1) I don't bruise. Ever. I have had one slight bruise in the last 5 years, and that was a broken finger.
2) I am very shy, so it is rare that you will ever see my bare flesh on the internet.
and,
3) It is very difficult to capture bruises on camera. You get the general sense of contrast, but it is difficult to highlight the halo of sickly, yellow discoloration around the main bruise.

So, without further delay...


It is worth noting that I don't play in a hugely competitive league or anything, and this is from the kick-around session on Monday nights.

damn - I should have flexed.

Interesting marketing strategy

(Okay, I've been waiting for Nathan to regale you with the horrors of his flight to California, but its just too painful. I think he's repressing the memories.)

In the meantime, I saw this in the local advertiser and was fascinated. It brought me back to my days in grad school with Karlyn Kohrs Campbell, a nationally know feminist critic from University of MN. GST is a little different from sales tax in the US, because just about EVERYTHING has GST but it really got me thinking.

It made me want to research and write an outraged article. But remembering very little of my rhetorical criticism pedagogy, I just thought I would raise these 3 questions.

1) Can you think of a similar product that every guy has to use for both health purposes and social acceptability? Do you think it would be taxed?


2) What sort of marketing campaign is this? It was on the back page, full colour spread of the advertising leaflet. What emotion are they tapping into...........resentment? that never makes me like the airlines!


3) Do you think this would work in the US?



Love to hear what you think! Now, let me just find that textbook.

Back in Oz (continued, CA edition)

......So I picked up Nathan at the airport in a cheap off-airport rentacar. The airconditioner sounded like a jet and the engine light came on approximately 30 minutes from the airport.
Nathan had a horrible flight (a tale that I will let him tell...as his bad luck continued on the way home too) so he really just needed it to be over.

We drove up to Santa Rosa to meet Deb & Tim at their new house. Deb & Tim greeted us with a fantastic BBQ (Australian style) to relax to before Nathan collapsed of exhaustion. Conveniently, Deb & Tim's next door neighbor was out of town and Gretchen got to house-sit, and we were invited as guests too. It was really nice because we could walk over or Caitlyn could walk over whenever she wanted, but everybody got enough space.

Gretchen had come for a visit around Easter, and kept extending her stay to house-sit for this friend and then that one....before finally deciding to move to CA permanently. She'd been talking about it for ages...so Nathan and I were happy to help get her set up if we could. Since we currently do not own a house, we thought we might finance a little "investment property" in Santa Rosa...while housing prices were down. So we spent a couple of days investigating the property market. We even put in an offer on a place--a cute little apartment above a 2 car garage (that could be used as a second living space). BUT, sadly other people wanted a cute little investment property too and we lost out to someone who was willing to pay cash (and have no inspection).

We spent a few days visiting with Bill & Ethel, Missy & Molly, Debbie & Tim, even spent a night with David playing Trivial Pursuit (which Gretchen & Molly won!). We got to watch Caitlyn's TBall game and play rook as a family, even took a picnic up to the COOLEST playground. Nathan was energetic so he ran the 3-4 miles from Deb & Tim's house to the park...we just didn't tell him we had planned family pictures after that! Deb & I snuck away for a birthday treat for me--a trip to the spa for a massage. it was amazing (why don't I do that more often!?!?!?)

After a very relaxing couple of hours, we drove up to see Mike in Fort Bragg. Nathan was dying to see his Dad...so much so that he was willing to drive the 2 hours through gorgeous CA mountain scenery while GAME 7 of the Stanley Cup was being played. Mike must know he is loved for Nathan to make this sacrifice.

We connected at Mike's for a pizza dinner and late night gab session. We met a very hyper dog (OTIS) and tried very hard to catch up on all that's happened while Otis begged for attention. The next morning we took a trip to the Dog Beach, ate a Giant burger (Not to be missed on the RoadFood Guide to Fort Bragg), checked out Mike's logging truck (family photo!), and then went to explore the Hidden Coast. Mike drives this way regularly in his log truck but doesn't get to stop and smell the flowers. So we did--we smelled the flowers, explored the tidepools, took pictures, and explored the coast all the way to Usall. Usall is a place up the "hidden coast" accessible by a poorly maintained dirt road, which our rental car struggled up valiantly. We arrived to a campground full of big trucks and dirt bikes, family picnics, and a few hippy, funky artist types (who made this door "art" on the beach).
By the time we made it back to Fort Bragg, the fat from the Giant Burger and fries had made its way to my arteries and my stomach was ravenous. We made for instantaneous gratification...a chinese buffet. My arteries were pleased to see the wontons and honey-walnut shrimp.

On Sunday, Nathan took Otis for a run before we piled in the car for a trip to the Ranch. We hiked around the place look for artifacts...the Swoos(sp?), an old car, Deadhorse flats. After finding multiple ticks (of which I have a phobia) I retired to the mountain house for a little time to work on a puzzle. I couldn't resist this picture of the big Medrone tree outside. Our time with Mike was WAY too short, (and we didn't even get a chance to see Terry), so there's nothing for it....he has to come to Australia. (After a brief return trip to pick up the camera we forgot) we headed back to Santa Rosa.

While we were away, Gretchen had left for Minnesota to start packing for her move to CA. Even though our quest to buy a house was unsuccessful Gretchen had arranged to rent part of a house with Nathan's aunt Molly.

On Monday, Nathan FINALLY got to watch the GAME 7 of the Stanley cup (can you believe we went the whole weekend without anyone spoiling the result!?!?!?). We spent the last day with Deb, Tim & Caitlyn relaxing (and making a few essential purchases like new shoes!). We crowned our evening with a memorable Thai dinner and a final game of rook.

On Tuesday, we said goodbye to Deb & Tim, drove to San Jose where we met Alan, Masami, and the boys for lunch. Nathan dropped me at the airport before driving to Fresno where he met his high school classmate Zach Reagle for dinner. Nathan hadn't seen him since our wedding (12 years ago). Despite all this time they both had lots in common (medical school, scotch, triathlons, and amazing, talented wives). After catching up, Nathan headed for the airport to fly back to MN to see family and friends and make the scenic drive back to MN......
(to be continued)

Back in Oz!

Nathan and I are once again living together. Since my dad's death, Nathan and I have been in separate hemispheres (with the exception of 1 week in CA where we crossed paths). Nathan flew to MN on the 25th to be with me for my Dad's funeral, then flew back to Australia on the 6th May. My bosses (John & Vicky) were so understanding, they let me stay in MN until our planned vacation on the 7th June. During that time, I got to spend some great time with my family.

Mom and I spent some wonderful time together, always talking... We went walking with her friends, out for lunches, shopping, did cross-word puzzles, and somehow never quite got to the list of "to-do" projects that were waiting. Julie, Mom and I went to Rochester for a weekend, had dinner at Brian & Jens, went to Andy's wedding with Cory & Mom, celebrated my birthday with a girls dinner. Cory and I got to hang out and talk about everything from music to medieval weapons, despite the teasing he took about the moustache. I got to watch Sam's dance recital, Owen's gingerbread man & birthday party, go to a movie with Spencer, and hold baby Kaitlyn again.

My friends were all so amazing....Jaymi picked me up from the airport when I was exhausted, Connie came down and spent the night listening to me sob, Donna drove down to see me, I saw Sara (Snuggles) for lunch. Hilary flew from Pittsburgh to help me find some laughter when I needed it (proving you are never too old for the swings!)

I finished my time in MN with a couple of days of just Mom, Julie, Alan, Brian, Cory & I. We made a few decisions, went out for lunch, played a "fiercely competitive" game of golf,
then headed home for a BBQ and planting a tree in Dad's memory. Everyone had to shovel a little, and with a big family like ours we had to put a little dirt back in at the end.

Alan & I flew together to CA, on the 7th June. We were able to arrange it so we could fly together. We had Saturday together just Alan and I which was nice to have some time just the 2 of us. After a great breakfast, Alan talked me into go for a bike ride in the hills near his house. Even though we went the "short, easy way" the ride took its toll on me!

That night we had dinner with Alan, Masami and the boys. We finished it off with some 6 handed cribbage, which left Alan promising revenge. The next morning, Alan had to fly to Japan and I rode with him to the airport to meet Nathan.....

In memory of my Dad

Since my dad's death, I've had quite a few friends ask about him and his life, so I thought I would post his obituary for those that are interested. I've got some photos and from my time in MN that I will share soon. Thank you to all the family and friends that have been so supportive over the last 2 months.
Derald Naumann Derald was born in the city of Elmore MN on January 14th 1930 the second child of Ira and Myrtle (Krosch) Naumann. The Naumann family lived in Elmore for the next year after which they moved to the former Dick Ripley farm, living there until 1939 when they moved to the Iowa farm south of Elmore. He attended country schools until graduating from Elmore High School in 1947. Derald became an avid sports participant in high school with competitive roles on the winning football and basketball teams. Derald attended the University of Minnesota Ag School and quickly became a successful college wrestler with highlights of making the final rounds of tryouts for the US Olympic team in 1952. Derald served as a cryptographer in the Korean War, and upon the completion of his tour of duty in the Army, he returned to the family farm. He remained proud of his country and its military and supported the cause by serving for more than 50 years in the local American Legion post, in a variety of roles, including the role of commander. Derald married Lois Jensen on May 26 1956 and they later divorced. On March 17th 1967 he married Bonnie Smith in Blue Earth and they lived on the family farm until his passing. Derald was actively involved in farming his whole life, but played many other roles in the community.After wrestling at the University of MN, and for the Army, and he was instrumental in founding and building the wrestling program at Elmore High School. He continued coaching until the school closed in 1990. For over 16 years, Derald was the greenskeeper at the Minn-Iowa Golf Club. He was a substitute mail carrier eventually having a full time mail route and retiring in 2000. He was actively involved in his church holding many offices over the years. He loved to be competitive whether it be playing cards, debating who caught the biggest fish, or in the many hours playing golf with his friends and family. Derald passed away peacefully in his home on 24 April 2009. He is survived by his wife, Bonnie, his children, Cory Naumann; Kristin (Nathan) Mannix; Brian (Jennifer) Naumann and their children, Lindsey, Jamie, Samantha and Owen; Alan (Masami) Naumann and their children, Stefanie, Michael, Bradley and Gregory; Julie ( Scott) Smith and their children, Summer, Taylor (Emily) and Crystal. Derald has 11 grandchildren and 5 great grand- children: Spencer, Mariana, Josiah, Layla and Kaitlyn. He will also be missed by his sister JoAnn Schaumburg, and brother Donnie (Connie) Naumann, his sister-in-law, Mardee (Dave) Heinrich, his brother-in-law Richard (Vickie) Houge and his aunts, Elvira Thompson, Eva Thorson and Madeline Naumann and many nieces and nephews.

Derald was preceded in death by his parents, Ira and Myrtle, his brother Edwin and his wife Geri and his brother-in-law Marvin Schaumburg. Derald was a grateful recipient of the gift of blood donated by many generous persons. Should friends so desire, expressions of sympathy are requested in the form of blood donations or monetary donations to the American Red Cross to aid in blood donation efforts.

Hockey...sweet, sweet hockey.

(Note to interested readers - some of you know about our recent emergency trip back to Minnesota - I'm not going to address all of that here. I just feel that this is not the forum.)


So I know what you're thinking. We're over halfway through the semifinal round of the playoffs, and no word about the ice? You're no doubt wondering where are my priorities? Like, am I even trying to grow a playoff beard?

Sadly for me, but happily for my employers and everyone that I have to kiss, I am not growing a beard this year. Had the Wild made it, I would be as hirsute as I can be. As it is, I'm not sure who I am even cheering for. I will say, however, that Tivo (or IQ as the call it here) makes the cheering much more fun! Not only is it recording all the games, rewinding and pausing the odd game that happens while I am awake, but it gives one a sense of power. If only it applied to real life - or even just stoplights - life would be greatly enriched.



Anyway, back to the playoffs.

It was never going to be the Rangers. I just can't, ever, not even if he were on my team, cheer for Avery. (in their favor, though, Mara has the best beard since Commodore). It also couldn't ever be the Sharks, in spite of the resurrection of Claude Lemieux. I like Jeremy Roenick, but there is something about watching Joe Thornton flounder that makes me happy.


The obvious choice is the Devils, since Brodeur is not only the best, but the coolest. Unfortunately, they just didn't have the firepower. Flyers? Nope. Hurricanes? Don't make me laugh. Anaheim? Anaheim? Hold on (vomiting sound). So...who does that leave? Red Wings are just cliche. They will probably win, but it's no fun to cheer for them. Their estimated 712,000 games of playoff experience makes it seem automatic, but it would be more exciting for a cinderella team to show up.

Did somebody say exciting? How about Ovechkin? I hadn't had much of a chance to watch him before, but he backchecks, scores goals, and boy! can he throw an open-ice hit! Fun to watch, plus Varlamov adds that Cinderella aspect of completely untried goalie carrying them through the first round. Unfortunately for the Caps, it will come down to coaching.


And let's face it - the Caps are coached by Mr. Carlson from WKRP, while the Penguins are coached by Noah Bennet from Heroes. No contest. Even if Boudreau did play for the Minnesota Fighting Saints, we've seen him taken advantage of by the likes of Les Nessman too many times.











So, my ideal matchup would be Blackhawks/Capitals in the final. I would accept a Red Wings/Penguins matchup. I have nightmares, however, that involve watching the Hurricanes and the Ducks. Only time will tell.


In the meantime, where's my razor?