Nathan Vs. The Papaya Salad

...so in keeping with the last few posts, this was going to be titled, "Nathan Vs. His Groin" but thought that would get some disappointed web surfers.
You see, we're in Thailand, and while there are many reasons to be writing about your groin in Thailand, it is not usually because of muscle tears. We had booked this great trip, with a stay on the unfortunately transliterated Phi Phi island (pee pee island). Pause for snickering, because I don't care how old you are, it's kind of funny. Phi Phi island has many things going for it, including great water for diving and some warm water corals, and some things which are not in the favourable column, such as having been the set for the Leonardo DiCaprio movie The Beach and a tendency to attract tsunamis. But most of these things require one to be of sound body.
So, back to my groin. Adding another reason to Kris' list of reasons that I should not be playing goalie in hockey (expensive equipment, my inflexibility, the bad influence of the other players) is injuries. Not just bruising now, but tearing two muscles in one maladroit maneuver. And this just days before leaving town to go for what was, at least ostensibly, a dive holiday.
Unable to put on my own socks (God bless the Aussie love of flip flops), we were able to rule out a wetsuit, and so we sought out other pursuits. Chief amongst these is gastrotourism.
I'm sure that there is another word for it. Epicurism? Tourphages? I think i'll stick with gastrotourism for now, and it's a nice way to travel.
Green curry? Tried it. Panang curry with coconut sauce? Tried it. What's that fish - oh never mind, can you grill it up and bring it over? Great! Do you mind bringing a large beer, also? Thanks.
Now I know what you're thinking - you're concerned about the chilli factor. It hasn't been a problem so far, and is easily avoided if you want to. But every now and then, just occasionally, one will sneak up on you. Papaya salad? How spicy can that be?
Let me tell you - 660 ml of Chiang beer later, coconut curry prawn, an ear of corn from the sreet vendor, and my lips are still tingling. But it's a good kind of burn.
And it's taken my mind off of my groin.

Nathan Vs. The Clown

So there's this new guy at hockey. I think that he's the one who pinged me on the shoulder with a puck at the end of practice yesterday - not the same shoulder as last time, but through a similar series of events left me with a shoulder so sore that I could not raise my beer to my mouth, which believe me, is pretty sore. He doesn't have a great shot, but he's got good dexterity, is very solid on his skates but deceptively graceful.

He should be. After all, he's a clown.

Derek is an actor from Toronto in town with Slava's Snow Show, which is a theatre event which defies description. The quote online is that Slava's "is to clowning what Cirque de Soleil is to circus." A bold statement, but one which we put to the test tonight.

Not having a clue as to what the show was about, just that it's a Russian clown show (which really didn't enlighten Kris and I, unfamiliar as we are with Russian clowns), we got tickets because 1) we thought it would be a good way to spend a Tuesday otherwise squandered on NCIS reruns, and 2) it would be cool to see Derek in action (off the ice).

Well. If you've never been, go. You can borrow my car. It turns out that the Snow Show is a visually arresting spectacle which makes you laugh out loud, want to cry, and made an octagenarian in front of us grin like a little boy. I still don't know what it was about, and will likely have flashbacks during which I try to assign some sort of narrative which may not exist or which may be completely inferred, but even on a Tuesday, surrounded by an audience remarkable only for its tepidness (tepidity? tepiduosity?), it was a moving, enjoyable night.

The only down side is that this week the Snow Show will be leaving town, and so will Derek, riding through the rainy Perth winter night on a Vespa, his hockey gear strapped to his back, stick like an antenna high above his helmet, and long curly clown hair waving in the breeze behind him, leaving smiles in his wake.

I'd toast him, but I can't raise this stinkin' glass...

Nathan Vs. The Marathon

So, I've been training for this marathon-thingy for a few weeks, thinking - as you do - that I never put in this much training before, and I've always been okay, but neglecting to consider the fact that the first marathon was something like 14 years ago, and while that's not very much time in geological terms, in the life of someone who, given a choice, would be a completely sedentary being, it's actually time for quite a few changes to take place.

Atrophy of the sense of humor, for one, and also a tendency to run-on sentences (looking back at that first sentence makes me cringe, but I'll leave the words as they are to lend an air of authenticity and a stream-of-consciousness sort of Faulkenerian...damn, doing it again).

Two weeks ago, when a pipe burst under the sink, causing water to spray an outlet, causing a fuse to blow which, when I went out of the front door, the resulting chimney effect caused the back door to slam shut, and breaking it - well, that sort of Chevy Chase morning would usually have me rolling on the floor. But not during marathon training.

Instead, it took series of totally bizarre, classic Fremantle (the town we live in) events to bring it all back to perspective.

1) On a run later that morning, I spotted a group of people in white pajamas and red belts chasing around one of the parks, wrestling with what appeared to be a bear. We are talking like, a couple-dozen people here, and splashing around in a 50 degree drizzle. In pajamas - or did I mention that already? Intrigued, I ran a little closer, and discovered that they were enacting the running of the bulls in Pamplona, with the part of the Bull being played by a guy in a rented costume and no audience - just out there having fun.

Interesting, but I still needed more.

2) That Same Day - we boarded a train into the city, and found ourselves on a carriage of 25 or so guys in their late twenties, all dressed as characters from Harry Potter, complete with broomsticks and wands, using the don't-fall-over straps to hold themselves up and pretend that they were flying on the broomsticks. Other than loud, they were a pretty pleasant bunch, and actually gave a broomstick to a little boy as he was leaving, cheering loudly when he "flew" along side the departing train car.

Surreal, yes, but not enough to re-align my sense of humor.

3) Later That Night - on the way back from the city, our train was boarded by a jungle. A dozen or so people dressed variously as foliage, big cats, and intrepid explorers got on board. No explanation, just having a good time.

Okay, okay! I surrender! All this in one day? Really! Somebody is telling me something.

All in all, this sort of day - starting with the burst pipe and continuing on through George of the Jungle's appearance at the end of the day, was enough to keep me smiling all through the marathon yesterday - well, most of the marathon. It took a long, long time, and nobody can smile for that long, I don't care which infomercial they work for.

Audience poll: First thing that pops into your mind when I type the new word usement I'm structuring, "Marathong"
I kept typing it by accident, then started wondering if it was really for some, non-freudian reason that I would need your help divining. Or maybe it's just the obvious...

Nathan Vs. The Puck

Kris has been trying to get me to re-enact my last trip to the US, and the misadventures of an episode of my life which we will think of as Nathan Vs. United Airlines, but it is actually fairly boring. A standard litany of airline ills, any one or two of which you may well expect on a trip, but ALL of which occurred on the trip from Perth to SFO. So, start with the phrase, "We're sorry Mr. Mannix, but you don't actually have a ticket..." being uttered at 5:30 AM, and use your imagination from there.

No, I like to focus on the other painful things in my life.

So, before you have a look at the photo below, you need to know 3 things;

1) I don't bruise. Ever. I have had one slight bruise in the last 5 years, and that was a broken finger.
2) I am very shy, so it is rare that you will ever see my bare flesh on the internet.
and,
3) It is very difficult to capture bruises on camera. You get the general sense of contrast, but it is difficult to highlight the halo of sickly, yellow discoloration around the main bruise.

So, without further delay...


It is worth noting that I don't play in a hugely competitive league or anything, and this is from the kick-around session on Monday nights.

damn - I should have flexed.

Interesting marketing strategy

(Okay, I've been waiting for Nathan to regale you with the horrors of his flight to California, but its just too painful. I think he's repressing the memories.)

In the meantime, I saw this in the local advertiser and was fascinated. It brought me back to my days in grad school with Karlyn Kohrs Campbell, a nationally know feminist critic from University of MN. GST is a little different from sales tax in the US, because just about EVERYTHING has GST but it really got me thinking.

It made me want to research and write an outraged article. But remembering very little of my rhetorical criticism pedagogy, I just thought I would raise these 3 questions.

1) Can you think of a similar product that every guy has to use for both health purposes and social acceptability? Do you think it would be taxed?


2) What sort of marketing campaign is this? It was on the back page, full colour spread of the advertising leaflet. What emotion are they tapping into...........resentment? that never makes me like the airlines!


3) Do you think this would work in the US?



Love to hear what you think! Now, let me just find that textbook.

Back in Oz (continued, CA edition)

......So I picked up Nathan at the airport in a cheap off-airport rentacar. The airconditioner sounded like a jet and the engine light came on approximately 30 minutes from the airport.
Nathan had a horrible flight (a tale that I will let him tell...as his bad luck continued on the way home too) so he really just needed it to be over.

We drove up to Santa Rosa to meet Deb & Tim at their new house. Deb & Tim greeted us with a fantastic BBQ (Australian style) to relax to before Nathan collapsed of exhaustion. Conveniently, Deb & Tim's next door neighbor was out of town and Gretchen got to house-sit, and we were invited as guests too. It was really nice because we could walk over or Caitlyn could walk over whenever she wanted, but everybody got enough space.

Gretchen had come for a visit around Easter, and kept extending her stay to house-sit for this friend and then that one....before finally deciding to move to CA permanently. She'd been talking about it for ages...so Nathan and I were happy to help get her set up if we could. Since we currently do not own a house, we thought we might finance a little "investment property" in Santa Rosa...while housing prices were down. So we spent a couple of days investigating the property market. We even put in an offer on a place--a cute little apartment above a 2 car garage (that could be used as a second living space). BUT, sadly other people wanted a cute little investment property too and we lost out to someone who was willing to pay cash (and have no inspection).

We spent a few days visiting with Bill & Ethel, Missy & Molly, Debbie & Tim, even spent a night with David playing Trivial Pursuit (which Gretchen & Molly won!). We got to watch Caitlyn's TBall game and play rook as a family, even took a picnic up to the COOLEST playground. Nathan was energetic so he ran the 3-4 miles from Deb & Tim's house to the park...we just didn't tell him we had planned family pictures after that! Deb & I snuck away for a birthday treat for me--a trip to the spa for a massage. it was amazing (why don't I do that more often!?!?!?)

After a very relaxing couple of hours, we drove up to see Mike in Fort Bragg. Nathan was dying to see his Dad...so much so that he was willing to drive the 2 hours through gorgeous CA mountain scenery while GAME 7 of the Stanley Cup was being played. Mike must know he is loved for Nathan to make this sacrifice.

We connected at Mike's for a pizza dinner and late night gab session. We met a very hyper dog (OTIS) and tried very hard to catch up on all that's happened while Otis begged for attention. The next morning we took a trip to the Dog Beach, ate a Giant burger (Not to be missed on the RoadFood Guide to Fort Bragg), checked out Mike's logging truck (family photo!), and then went to explore the Hidden Coast. Mike drives this way regularly in his log truck but doesn't get to stop and smell the flowers. So we did--we smelled the flowers, explored the tidepools, took pictures, and explored the coast all the way to Usall. Usall is a place up the "hidden coast" accessible by a poorly maintained dirt road, which our rental car struggled up valiantly. We arrived to a campground full of big trucks and dirt bikes, family picnics, and a few hippy, funky artist types (who made this door "art" on the beach).
By the time we made it back to Fort Bragg, the fat from the Giant Burger and fries had made its way to my arteries and my stomach was ravenous. We made for instantaneous gratification...a chinese buffet. My arteries were pleased to see the wontons and honey-walnut shrimp.

On Sunday, Nathan took Otis for a run before we piled in the car for a trip to the Ranch. We hiked around the place look for artifacts...the Swoos(sp?), an old car, Deadhorse flats. After finding multiple ticks (of which I have a phobia) I retired to the mountain house for a little time to work on a puzzle. I couldn't resist this picture of the big Medrone tree outside. Our time with Mike was WAY too short, (and we didn't even get a chance to see Terry), so there's nothing for it....he has to come to Australia. (After a brief return trip to pick up the camera we forgot) we headed back to Santa Rosa.

While we were away, Gretchen had left for Minnesota to start packing for her move to CA. Even though our quest to buy a house was unsuccessful Gretchen had arranged to rent part of a house with Nathan's aunt Molly.

On Monday, Nathan FINALLY got to watch the GAME 7 of the Stanley cup (can you believe we went the whole weekend without anyone spoiling the result!?!?!?). We spent the last day with Deb, Tim & Caitlyn relaxing (and making a few essential purchases like new shoes!). We crowned our evening with a memorable Thai dinner and a final game of rook.

On Tuesday, we said goodbye to Deb & Tim, drove to San Jose where we met Alan, Masami, and the boys for lunch. Nathan dropped me at the airport before driving to Fresno where he met his high school classmate Zach Reagle for dinner. Nathan hadn't seen him since our wedding (12 years ago). Despite all this time they both had lots in common (medical school, scotch, triathlons, and amazing, talented wives). After catching up, Nathan headed for the airport to fly back to MN to see family and friends and make the scenic drive back to MN......
(to be continued)

Back in Oz!

Nathan and I are once again living together. Since my dad's death, Nathan and I have been in separate hemispheres (with the exception of 1 week in CA where we crossed paths). Nathan flew to MN on the 25th to be with me for my Dad's funeral, then flew back to Australia on the 6th May. My bosses (John & Vicky) were so understanding, they let me stay in MN until our planned vacation on the 7th June. During that time, I got to spend some great time with my family.

Mom and I spent some wonderful time together, always talking... We went walking with her friends, out for lunches, shopping, did cross-word puzzles, and somehow never quite got to the list of "to-do" projects that were waiting. Julie, Mom and I went to Rochester for a weekend, had dinner at Brian & Jens, went to Andy's wedding with Cory & Mom, celebrated my birthday with a girls dinner. Cory and I got to hang out and talk about everything from music to medieval weapons, despite the teasing he took about the moustache. I got to watch Sam's dance recital, Owen's gingerbread man & birthday party, go to a movie with Spencer, and hold baby Kaitlyn again.

My friends were all so amazing....Jaymi picked me up from the airport when I was exhausted, Connie came down and spent the night listening to me sob, Donna drove down to see me, I saw Sara (Snuggles) for lunch. Hilary flew from Pittsburgh to help me find some laughter when I needed it (proving you are never too old for the swings!)

I finished my time in MN with a couple of days of just Mom, Julie, Alan, Brian, Cory & I. We made a few decisions, went out for lunch, played a "fiercely competitive" game of golf,
then headed home for a BBQ and planting a tree in Dad's memory. Everyone had to shovel a little, and with a big family like ours we had to put a little dirt back in at the end.

Alan & I flew together to CA, on the 7th June. We were able to arrange it so we could fly together. We had Saturday together just Alan and I which was nice to have some time just the 2 of us. After a great breakfast, Alan talked me into go for a bike ride in the hills near his house. Even though we went the "short, easy way" the ride took its toll on me!

That night we had dinner with Alan, Masami and the boys. We finished it off with some 6 handed cribbage, which left Alan promising revenge. The next morning, Alan had to fly to Japan and I rode with him to the airport to meet Nathan.....